I selected Sheryl
Sandberg’s Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders from the TED.com series. What I loved
most about her speech was the fact that I felt as if she was talking directly
to me and understood my plight with work advancement for today’s career woman. She
hit upon three points that resonated with me and made me reflect on my time in
the workplace. She discussed the lack of women at the top of “C-level” jobs,
the decisions women have to make between professional success and personal
fulfillment, and how we as women don’t negotiate our salaries.
Sandberg stated that, “In the corporate sector,
women at the top, C-level jobs, board seats -- tops out at 15, 16 percent. The
numbers have not moved since 2002 and are going in the wrong direction.” The higher up I moved in
my career, the less women I saw on the way up; even less, people of color. It
was particularly difficult because I was working in a field that catered to an
African American demographic, 18-34 years old, with a focus on women. It was
challenging to articulate my view to a room full of men who did not live the
lifestyle of the audience we were catering to. I had to be mindful of my tone
and my passion. I would sit back and listen to the men get boisterous,
sometimes standing up to get their viewpoint across. If my voice slightly
cracked or my facial expression changed in any way, I was being emotional. It
made moving up the ladder very difficult.
As I think back to those moments, it made me question if I ever wanted
to hold a top-level job again.
Sandberg discussed professional
success and personal fulfillment. I struggled with this throughout my career. I
struggled with it to the point that I went to work sick many days and hardly went
on vacation. For two years, I even put off a major surgical procedure that I
needed, because I didn’t think I could “afford” to be out of work for six
weeks. I put my professional success ahead of my own personal fulfillment and
needs. She stated that a recent study in the U.S. showed that, “of married
senior managers, two-thirds of the married men had children and only one-third
of the married women had children.” I would overhear how some of the men
expressed their views of women, who had become pregnant on the job, and it was
not favorable. It echoed a time when I worked with Wendy Williams and remembering
that she hardly took time off as well. She said she didn’t take time off
because, “there’s always a young girl waiting in the wings to take your job.”
Sadly, I believed that more than I believed in my own abilities.
Working in this type of
environment made me bad at negotiating my own salary. I was conditioned to
believe that as women we were suppose to take what was being given to us. Sandberg
stated, “57 percent of men
are negotiating their first salary, and (compared to) only 7 percent of women.” I once had a female
employee whose contract was up for negotiation. Her day part was one of the
strongest day parts at the radio station, yet her salary didn’t cover the cost
of living for that particular city. I was horrified. She was being pressured to
sign another contract that would lock her in for two more years with no salary
increase. She came to me in tears. I encouraged her to fight for what she
wanted. As talented as she was, she did not see her own value. In the end, she was victorious. I decided if I was going to
be bad at negotiating for myself, I was not going to pass that mindset on to
another woman asking me for advice. Sandberg showed me that I wasn’t
alone with my feelings and shared the same conflicts as most career women. She
also showed me that it is not wrong to fight for my own personal happiness as
well as my professional happiness. As she says, I should be able to feel that I
CAN “sit at the table” with my male counter parts and co-workers.
