Dear Jahlil Okafor

Recently, Philadelphia 76’ers rookie center Jahlil Okafor has been making sports headlines for the wrong reasons. Okafor was suspended for two games for a fight in Boston, MA with a heckler. The 19-year-old NBA rookie was also accused of using a fake I.D. at a Philadelphia bar in October. Okafor was a star at the University of Duke under coach Mike Krzyzewski. During his freshman year, Duke won the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship. After winning the championship, Okafor entered the 2015 NBA draft and was drafted third by the Philadelphia 76’ers. Okafor is currently the star of a losing 76’ers team with a 1-20 record. If I had the opportunity to talk to Okafor via email or in person, I would say the following to him:

Dear Jahlil Okafor:

I want to help you. I believe the circumstances you are going through are hiccups on your road of life. Hiccups, that if not addressed, can turn into another “what-could-have-been?” episode of ESPN’s 30 for 30. I spent 16 years working in radio. At times, I worked at the #1 radio station in the market and at other times I worked at the worst radio station in the market. When you have not worked in a competitive environment, you do not understand how it may mess with your mind. Going from winning to losing is hard. You start to question yourself. For me, I questioned if I should have left my previous radio station for the new station. Maybe I wasn’t as good as I thought. Maybe I had committed career suicide. Once you say “maybe” too many times, you have mind trapped yourself into a dangerous place - the place of self-doubt. Now you are questioning everything about yourself. To make matters worse, I was alone in a new city with no family. Everyone just assumes you are happy because you are making more money than you once were. No one factors in all the other aspects of life that kick in with your new environment. In my opinion, Philly is the realest city on the planet. I know people say that New York is tough; “if you can make it here you can make it anywhere.” As a person who has lived and worked in both cities, I’m here to tell you, “Philly is tough!” When the people of Philly love you and embrace you, they do it with their WHOLE heart and soul. But when their team isn’t winning, oh you will surely feel the wrath!! Right now you are feeling the wrath of losing, and it doesn’t feel good. I know that feeling as well.

I want you to consider another dynamic; how great would it be for your career and for the Sixers franchise if you were the reason the team turns around? Now is not the time to hang around with a bunch of people who constantly tell you how great you are, hanging on to you for access to the VIP section. Now is the time to get serious. You need to seek out NBA veterans, seek out your old coach Mike Krzyzewski, or seek out a person from your faith. You need an outside voice to tell it to you straight, but also willing to walk that road with you. Assigning security to you (as the Sixers organization has stated they will do) is a Band-Aid; it does not address what is happening in your head. I don’t want you to be a statistic. I don’t want you to become the poster child for why college athletes should stay in school longer. I want you to be the poster child for the future of the NBA. You are an awesome player on a bad team. Let’s work together to focus on your greatness. Too many people want to talk about you, judge you and make you a headline on their sports show. I want to help you. 

Dez Bryant: Good Cowboy or Bad Cowboy?

On Sunday, November 1, 2015 Dallas Cowboy’s Wide Receiver, Dez Bryant was accused of one of the worst things you can accuse another player of doing. He was accused of making inappropriate comments about Seattle Seahawk, Ricardo Lockette who was knocked unconscious during the Cowboys-Seahawks game.  For those of you who are not sports fan, when a player has been injured, specifically knocked unconscious, it is customary for players to show a sign of respect for the injured player. Some players get down on one knee, some say a prayer, and others may have a moment of silence. During Lockette’s injury a fight broke out between Cowboys and Seahawk players. A vine video was later circulated showing Bryant saying something and pointing. It was interpreted that Bryant said “that’s what the F he gets” The video has no sound. The interpretation was made by the creator of the Vine video Marcus Sullivan who is a FOX 26 digital reporter. When Bryant was asked about this in the locker room after the game, he went on a tirade. To politely sum up his tirade he said he would never wish harm on another player.  Dez Bryant is not a Saint to say the very least but he is a person who is trying hard to turn his life around.  This summer, Rolling Stone Magazine did a great cover story on him that humanized him more than any piece I have read or heard. He had a rough upbringing. His mom had him when she was 14. She got pregnant by her mom’s boyfriend who was in his 40’s and she went on to have 2 more children with him. She started selling crack when Bryant was a young boy and did time in jail for selling drugs. Once you have an understanding of who Dez Bryant is and what he has been through, you can now go back to the tirade in the locker room and understand his reaction better. This is a man who has seen more ugliness in his life than most. He was probably told he was never going to amount to anything and has probably rarely been given the benefit of the doubt. I can empathize with that. The concern I have about Bryant, is that I feel that no one has helped him work thru the emotional ugliness. When you let those emotions fester inside of you, they come out in an emotional tirade like they did this past Sunday. Bryant could have calmly “checked” the media in the locker room about that comment and moved on if he had received the proper counseling and media training. Once the media saw that they had hit a “hot button” they kept digging at him because everyone is looking for that "hot sound bite" to put up on their website or play during their newscast. He unknowingly fell into the trap of the media.